In the Chicago marathon, we ran for Team World Vision and helped to raise money for water pumps to bring clean water to village in Africa that didn't have any. Two nights before the race, we had a TWV spaghetti dinner, where the founder of TWV got up and spoke some and then a couple of people shared their stories of how running changed their life.
At the time, I thought it was cool to hear their stories and really was encourage by that night. But, I was so nervous about the race that was coming up in 2 days that I wasn't feeling all that introspective--I was just praying that I would be able to finish the 26.2 miles.
Looking back on it now though, October 11, 2009 was a life changing day for me. When I cam across that finish line and was feeling good and able to wave at Landon as I ran past him (he had finished an hour ago, ha!), something changed in me. I had actually run a marathon, something I'd wanted to do since I was 12, and it wasn't the awful, painful thing I'd feared it would be--it was actually fun!
And then, when I saw Landon for the first time after the race, I got all choked up and started crying. He was worried and kept asking me if I was hurt or something. And I can't really explain why I was crying (because certainly no one else around me was) except to say that something that I'd wanted to do for so long, but hadn't done because of a huge fear of failing, was done. Something that was hanging over my head for years, as something that I wanted to do but honestly didn't think I could, I had actually done. I was happy and relieved and proud of us and just honestly couldn't believe that it was over and had gone well for both of usl. I was just a powerful moment for me.
And what it did for me is it helped me to stop being stopped by a fear of failure. To be able to try thing, risk things, and not be so afraid that I would be bad at it. And while that may not seem like a big deal to some people (my husband for example, who I don't think knows the meaning of fear, considering he signed up for an Ironman before completing a marathon), it has been for me.
And so, while sometimes I get weary or complain about "having" to run, I am so grateful for the gift of confidence and adventure that the journey has given me. As cheesy as it sounds, it honestly has been a life changer for me.
And today, on October 11th, a date I'll not soon forgot, I just wanted to remember that.
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